I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
