Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I would ride that face into the sunset
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
