I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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