do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
