so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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