the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
