I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
