I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
