Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
