I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
