He disabled his match.com account in front of me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
