I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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