You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
