dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
