sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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