i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
