dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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