Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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