You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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