So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
