Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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