just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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