You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
