you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
