I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
