In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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