You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
