I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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