chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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