I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your penis caused this!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
