cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fuck appropriateness.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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