thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
