Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
