i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is wine microwaveable?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
