yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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