sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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