And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
