I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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