omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL