You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.