Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.