I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.