People with herpes should wear stickers.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
