I just made out with a guy for $7.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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