So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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