i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
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