If you die in college, do you die in real life?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
