ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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