Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
