This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
