I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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