Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She said her name was "party"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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