The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
