I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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