So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"it" just moved
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He better not be in your backpack
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
