dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We need a shit load of segways right now
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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