So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My liver just had a heart attack.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
