whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
