I must be too annoying 4 u.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
