I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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