This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
