awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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