Midget sex pt 2 tonight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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