I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
